


RIP Dumbass

by velcrooooo



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, again I have nothing to say for myself, but she got better so its ok, canon-typical mentions of character death, listen its 12am and I needed to write this, thats it thats the fic, the mechs hold funerals for eachother when they die stupidly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26575180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velcrooooo/pseuds/velcrooooo
Summary: The Mechanisms hold a funeral for Raphaella la Cognizi
Comments: 29
Kudos: 140





	RIP Dumbass

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to the Hello, Ladies! Group chat on Tumblr for this idea its fucking fantastic

"We are gathered here today to mourn our dear friend Raphaella la Cognizi." Jonny said solemnly. He was wearing a long, dramatic black dress with about five black belts around his waist.

"Ah yes. Our dearest friend and favorite science officer, who decided that drinking poison to see what would happen would be a good idea." He sighed heavily.

"I feel like you aren't being all that sincere." Raphaella deadpanned. She was lying on her back with her arms crossed in a coffin. Jonny shook his head and looked away. "Sometimes I can still hear her voice."

"Truly tragic. If only someone had been there to tell her how stupid of an idea that was." Ivy spoke up, looking up from her book.

Tim sighed dramatically. "Truly a zero braincell move. I can not believe someone as smart as her would do this."

"We'll Miss You Raphaella!" The Toy Soldier said from where it was sitting.

Raphaella groaned. "Oh, not you too TS."

"Raphaella, who thought she could drink poison, and died on us for an _entire day._ Truly tragic and stupid." Jonny let out a loud, fake sob and turned away.

"If only she were still here now. Then we could tell her how fucking stupid drinking poison was. She knew what would happen. She would die. And yet here we are." Nastya motioned towards where Raphaella lay.

She scoffed. "Ok, well now that's just unfair. I was curious as to what it would feel like."

Marius shook his head. "Top 10 saddest Mechanisms deaths." He said, keeping a straight face.

"Such a horrible and incredibly stupid way to go." Brian was a little farther back from where everyone else was gathered, but he watched.

"I thought you of all people would be on my side here, Brian." Raphaella raised her hands to her face and sighed. "Something tells me you're all upset at me."

Jonny sobbed theatrically. "If she were here now I would tell her about how hilarious and incredibly dumb her death was."

"Right. I'll take that as a yes. Are we done here?" Raphaella exhaled.

"Raphaella was a great friend and an even worse science officer." Ashes crossed their arms.

"Rest in peace, dumbass." Jonny grinned at Raphaella.

"I hate all of you."


End file.
